Celebrities are not your friends

Spot on comments attached to this blog post..
http://www.badscience.net/?p=220

1. Frank said,

   What baffles me is why journalists always include a list of famous people that use the latest miracle cure. Am I supposed to be swayed because a famous actor uses these bandages?

2. JohnD said,

   Yes!

   Be honest. If a friend you trust recommends something, you are going to be well disposed towards it.
   The whole PA business promotes celebrities as ‘friends’, who you call by a personal or nickname, whose slightest personal detail and life history you know, or at least you know one that they want you to know. How many people do you work with who you ‘know’ that well?

Saverstrip

from a forum thread...

"Way back the bus companies here tried out an idea to speed up boarding, they sold a piece of card called a saverstrip and when you got on the bus you pushed it into a machine that went Ker-Ching so that everyone knew you'd paid. The TV ads for it had the most f*ck irritating jingle ever:

Ker-Ching a work
Ker-Ching a shops
Ker-Ching a cheaper
Ker-Ching a saverstrip

The joke was that after a while the bit of the machines that made the Ching gave up, so they all went Ker-click."

Religion comparison chart

http://www.religionfacts.com/big_religion_chart.htm

Dog agility

Years ago my auntie had a mongrel dog called Laddie. He was the smartest dog I've known. One time he was taken along to some dog agility sessions where my auntie's alsation and a load of other alsations were supposed to be trained to run through tubes, climb up and down frames, that kind of thing. It was for alsations only, so Laddie wasn't allowed to join in. He had to sit and watch these dumb alsations dicking around, running off in wrong directions or just refusing to co-operate.

At the end of the final session he got off the lead, ran onto the course and completed all the obstacles without stopping. After this performance, he ran back to his starting spot and sat down as if nothing had happened. It was like he was saying "I'll show you how it's done!"

They tried to get him to do it again but he'd lost interest.

Little Man

Aparently my grandad used to sing this to me (can't remember it though)...

LITTLE MAN, YOU'VE HAD A BUSY DAY
(Mabel Wayne / Al Hoffman / Maurice Sigler)

Evenin' breezes sighin', moon is in the sky
Little man, it's time for bed
Daddy's little hero is tired and wants to cry
Now, come along and rest your weary head

Little man, you're cryin', I know why you're blue
Someone took your kiddy-car away
You better go to sleep now
Little man, you've had a busy day

Johnny won your marbles, tell you what we'll do
Dad'll get you new ones right away
Better go to sleep now
Little man, you've had a busy day

You've been playin' soldier, the battle has been won
The enemy is out of sight
Come along there soldier, put away your gun
The war is over for tonight

Time to stop your schemin', time your day was through
Can't you hear the bugle softly say
Time you should be dreamin'
Little man, you've had a busy day


- recorded by various artists inc:
Emil Coleman - 1934
Perry Como - 1958
Sarah Vaughan & Count Basie - 1961
Bing Crosby - ?

My bet is my grandad was singing Bing's version

St Annes to Beeston, Leeds

1. Go up Queensway
2. At the major junction, turn right onto Progress Way towards Preson M55
3. At first roundabout take M55 Preston turn off (roughly 11 o clock - more or less straight on)
4. Next roundabout, take M55 Preston turn off which is to the right
5. You are now on the M55, therefore 70 MPH limit
6. Just past Preston turn off hang right for M6 South - Junc 32
7. Get in 1st or 2nd lane for M61 at Junction 30. Note: If in 2nd lane don't panic at the turn off, the turn off is staggered till after some hatching.

Now on M61. Just before Manchester we will be joining M62.

8. Hang right at Junction 2 for M62, then stay in left lane as it forks.
9. Turn left at junction 28 'Leeds Dewsbury' & signed for White Rose Centre
10. Pull into left lane on exit - first left at roundabout for White Rose
11. Straight through next lights.
12. Pull into right lane and then go straight on at next roundabout.
13. Stay in right lane and go straight through next roundabout also.
14. Stay in right lane and follow fork to the right for Beeston.
15. Just before Tommy Wass be careful because cars from left sometimes cross over to right lane. Pull into left lane before Tommy Wass.

The rest is obvious.

Cleaning up cat pee

http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,3605,1672634,00.html

Beeston, Leeds to St Annes

1. Up Dewsbury Road in left hand lane
2. Straight on through roundabouts till roundabout with M62 West marked.
Pull into right lane before this, then right lane again when extra lane opens up.
Let markings for M62 on lanes guide (once on roundabout you move into 2nd to right hand lane, go round till nearly doubled back on yourself then follow M62 turn off markings)
3. Keep heading for Manchester
4. At Junction 18 don't turn or you'll take hours to get home! Keep in right 2 lanes which has arrow for M60.
5. Turn off at juntion 15 for M61 (follow Preston signs basically)
6. Get into 1st or 2nd lanes (marked M61/Preston) - may be junction 10?
7. At junction 9, move to middle lane for Blackpool (as signed)
8. Follow M55 sign (straight on) when it is indicated at junction ?
9. Turn Junction 32 for M55
10. This feeds straight onto the roundabout with the helter skelter sculpture - approach in left lane for shortcut road to the left
11. At next roundabout, go straight on

The rest is obvious!

Spicy carrot cake with lemon icing

http://shopping.guardian.co.uk/food/story/0,1587,1645995,00.html

225g grated carrots
125g raisins
6 tbsp olive oil
125g soft brown sugar, preferably rapadura
225g wholemeal flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp grated nutmeg
1 tsp powdered cinnamon
8 tbsp real maple syrup
4 tbsp fresh orange juice

For the icing:

175g icing sugar
Juice and rind of 1 lemon

Preheat the oven to 170C/325F/gas mark 3 and line an 18cm cake tin with nonstick paper. Mix the carrots, raisins, oil and sugar in a bowl, then add the flour, baking powder, nutmeg, cinnamon, maple syrup and orange juice, and mix until everything is well combined - it will be quite sticky.

Spoon into the prepared tin, level the top, and bake for an hour and a quarter, or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. Leave to cool in the tin.

Mix the icing sugar with the lemon rind and enough of the juice (about six to eight teaspoons) to make a thick coating consistency. Spread over the top of the cake and leave to set.

Vehicle Safety Questions

Download vehicle safety questions as asked on UK driving tests from here

Nachos Recipe

http://www.elise.com/recipes/archives/001636nachos.php

copied here in case link dies...

Tortilla chips - extra thick - 1 14-oz bag
Refried beans - 2-3 cups
Cheddar Cheese - 1/2 lb, grated, about 3 cups
Pickled jalapeno peppers - 4 peppers, sliced

Optional, but highly recommended
Salsa
Guacamole
Sour cream
Cilantro, chopped

1 Preheat the oven to 350°F. Arrange a layer of tortilla chips along the bottom of a wide, shallow baking pan. It will make things easier if this baking pan also can be used as a serving pan, such as the ceramic platter shown in the photo above. The layer of tortilla chips can be a couple chips thick. Spread the refried beans over the chips (this is why you need extra thick chips, so they don't break when encountering the beans). Sprinkle the grated cheese over the top of chips and beans. Sprinkle slices of jalapeño peppers over the cheese. Bake in oven for 10 minutes, or until cheese is melted. 5 minutes in a convection oven.

2 Serve with dollops of salsa, sour cream and guacamole, with chopped cilantro sprinkled on top.

Veggie Mince Pies

http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/experts/roseelliot/story/0,16748,1652670,00.html

Copied here in case link dies...

Mincemeat without the meat

Rose Elliot
Saturday November 26, 2005
The Guardian

Mince pies

When I started vegetarian cooking, you couldn't buy mincemeat that didn't have meat suet in it; the same applied to bought mince pies. If vegetarians wanted mince pies, they had to make their own using vegetable suet. Recently, however, I've come to the conclusion that this extra fat isn't really necessary at all; it's just a hangover from when mincemeat actually contained meat. You can make a wonderfully juicy, spicy version without any added fat, or even sugar - the sweetness of the dried fruit alone provides enough.

Article continues
The only disadvantage of this fresh, light mincemeat is that it doesn't keep for ages - it will last up to a week in the fridge, no longer. This amount of mincemeat is enough for 36 pies, though the pastry is only enough for 12, so you'll have plenty left over to make more.

125g currants
125g raisins
125g sultanas
50g unsweetened cooking dates, chopped
50g candied peel, chopped
50g natural glace cherries, sliced
50g flaked almonds
half a tsp each ground ginger, grated nutmeg and mixed spice
1 ripe banana, mashed
4 tbsp brandy, whisky or rum
375g shortcrust pastry (or pastry made from 250g flour and 125g fat)

Mix all the ingredients except the pastry in a large bowl. Thinly roll out the pastry, cut out rounds to fit your tartlet tins, fill each with a good spoonful of mincemeat, cover with a smaller pastry disc and prick. Preheat the oven to 220C/425F/gas mark 7, then bake the pies for about 10 minutes.

Mushroom sauce for pasta

Mushroom sauce for pasta
http://www.lunched.co.uk/Pasta/mush_sauce.html

You need:
A good few handfuls of any mushroom sliced thinly.
25g (about 1heaped tbsp) flour or cornflour
1/2 pint of milk
15g butter
olive oil
salt and pepper

Melt the butter in a pan with some olive oil to stop it from burning. Sauté the mushrooms until soft and coloured remove from the pan and set aside. Turn off the heat under the pan. Add the milk and flour and whisk. Turn the heat back on but onto a very low flame. Whisk the sauce frequently but not too vigorously and it will thicken up right before your eyes. It needs to cook for about 10 mins to cook out the flour taste. This is a basic white sauce.

A nice little variation is to bung in a tsp of mustard (english is best), it gives the sauce a certain something. Some torn basil is great too.

Once you are happy with it, return the mushrooms to the pan, allow to heat through, season to taste . Serve over freshly boiled conchigle (pasta shells) as they hold large amounts of sauce. No burnt bits, no lumps, no fuss.

Perfect corn on the cob

http://vegetarian.about.com/od/tipstechniques/ht/cornonthecob.htm

Green beans recipe

A recipe for green beans in tomato sauce, with boiled potatoes in white wine vinegar + cheese:

You need...

* 1 onion chopped finely
* Chopped garlic
* Olive oil
* Green beans, lots of, with ends cut off and washed
* 'Baby' potatoes, bag of (these usually are sold washed)
* White wine vinegar
* Feta cheese diced (or something like Cheshire if you hate Feta!)
* Tin chopped tomatoes
* Brown sugar (only a tad - maybe 1/4 of a teaspoon)

How to prepare...

1. Before anything, steam the beans to soften them up, then drain
2. Boil the potatoes

--when the spuds are about ready to eat go to step 3--

3. In another pan, sautee the onions and garlic until onion goes golden
4. Throw in the beans and stir about a bit
5. Pour in some of the tomato - you decide, but don't drown the onions completely. About 50-50 is ok
6. Toss in the brown sugar and heat it all up
7. Drain the now cooked spuds, then drizzle them in white wine vinegar (but don't go too mad!) and throw in the cheese chunks. Stir.

8. Dish it all out and eat

Blueprints

My grandad Joe worked at an engineering works in Middleton, Leeds. He used to bring home big wads of blueprints so that I could draw on the reverse. These had a strong musty, metallic, and inky smell.

move festival 13th July 2003

move2003_0006
Originally uploaded by shedlord.

REM, Idlewild, Oranger, Badly Drawn Boy, Athlete, John Squire

Thorpe: Man bricks dog

What I (vaguely) remember:

I was somewhere between 10 and 14 years old. We were living in a terraced house in one of the couple of small streets that made up a no-man's land called Thorpe, somewhere in between Leeds and Wakefield. Thorpe is one of those nothingly places you drive through to get to somewhere real. This was emphasized on a daily basis by the noise of the nearby M62. There were no shops (that I recall). The only thing of interest was the Chlorine plant directly across the road. There was literally nothing to do there, except walk the dog.

Now, the bit I should remember about this but can't be sure is the name of the dog in this tale of woe. We definitely had a very stupid red setter called Bonnie when we lived here, but he/she was taken away again at some stage by the original owner because we basically couldn't handle the constant cleaning up of sick, nicking food off the table and general insanity. On the other hand, it might have been my auntie's dog. Let's just call it "the dog" for the sake of argument.

Anyway, I was walking the dog, not on a lead or anything. I got to the end of our street and the dog ran into the very small yard in front of the last house. It probably started having a dump, can't exactly remember - it may have just been nosing around. The owner came out, picked up a bit stone that was next to the door. As I was shouting "No!!!" he threw it at the dog and hit one of its legs. The dog started screaming in pain. Don't remember much what happened next but it involved me crying and swearing at him a lot.

My mum took him to court over it. I had to get up in the witness box and tell the story. When I got to the swearing bit I said something like "then I said some rude things", which made some people in the court laugh. We won the case.

The ice cream men

We had 2 main ice cream vans (70s/early 80s - Belle Isle, Leeds)

1. Walls
The ice cream man was refered to as Wallsy, although this probably came from the brand of ice cream (?)
If I remember rightly he was a grumpy old man and had a really obvious wig that was the target of much piss-taking.
Typical ice cream van shape and product.

2. Basils
Weirder shaped van, sort of pointed and car shaped at the front, with a curvy overhanging bit on the roof. Lots of pink paint. Bit like a rocket lolly.
Don't remember the driver at all. 'Basil' used to sell those screwball things - a plastic inverted cone full of ice cream with an edible bubble gum ball in the bottom.

Billy Wells

He was the 'telly man'. Whenever it needed a new tube putting in (before tvs got cheap and disposable) Billy Wells would turn up. This almost certainly wasn't his real name because he had a foreign accent (Polish I think) and my grandad had supposedly vouched for him so that he could become a British citizen after the war. Apparently we got our telly fixed for free because of this.
He always seemed to be very tanned, so he must have made a bit of money out of it.
Black curly hair. Dazzling white teeth.
I always used to sit on the nearest armchair and watch him take the telly apart, fascinated. Wonder if this put him off?
Seemed like a really friendly guy anyway.